In Which I Read Fangirl and Find Myself

I ended up just copying this into my review on Goodreads, so I'm going to just leave it here without prelude.

Well that is two five-stars that Rainbow Rowell has earned from me in the new year. It's like she digs down deep into my brain, finds a lot of random bits, and then spits them out beautifully onto paper. There are so many things I loved about this book that I don't even know how to articulate them all.  First off, can we just for a minute give mad props to the author who wrote two different stories in this book?  The world of Simon Snow, which was really quite interesting by itself for a way to advance the plot, and the very real world of Cath Avery and her cast of friends.  Second, I have to say I read Eleanor & Park and then the very next book I read was this one, and the only things that they had in common was that her characters are all both very real and flawed, but in a simple, down to earth way. They EXIST.  The two books are as different as can be:  the main characters have different personalities, they have different interests, the format the book was written in was different.  I guess I'm trying to say that as much as I could tell that Rainbow Rowell had a gift for word-weaving from E&P, Fangirl gave me that much more respect for her.  There are some authors that every character they write are the same person, or at least their main protagonists are very similar.  Not so here, and it comes off masterfully.

Now as a fanfiction writer myself, I was incredibly impressed to find a book ABOUT it, and not in an off-hand, "these weird people obsess over it" sort of way.  Because let's admit it:  fanfiction is a naughty word in the world of writing. It's the freaky obsessive step-child of writing. It's the elephant in the room in the internet.  Here, it's out there:  it's a valid expenditure of time, it's what Cath DOES.  I really expected it to be turned into a lesson:  Cath only writes about another world when her world sucks, and when it doesn't, she stops.  But she doesn't.  It's still a pastime for her, not something she does to replace her life, and there is an astonishing amount of validation there for the world of fanfiction.

Another thing I love about this book is the way she deals with mental illness.  It's subtle, and it's fascinating.  Cath and Wren's father is bi-polar, and he tends to play chicken with his medication, staying off of it as long as possible until it gets overwhelming, then he either gets back on it, or steps one foot further and someone intervenes. And the entire time, no one faults him for it. No one lectures about how he really should be faking it and normal, they just accept that is how he is and that is how he is dealing with it.  There is no overtone of how he is betraying his family by not playing nice and taking his medication like a good adult, and that is really different than how you mostly find it.  Let's look at Cath.  Cath very obviously has some mental deviation:  either bi-polar, like her father, or OCD, etc... and although her roommate belittles her at the beginning a bit for not getting drugs, the matter is quickly dropped and she is just allowed to BE HER and not be forced into the box of normalcy. She takes those flaws and she works around them and it all creates her personality. I love that, in order to be happy in life she doesn't have to change and be more like anyone else, she just has to open her eyes and live it the way she wants to.  I could talk and talk until it makes even less sense about what I love about this concept, but it really boils down to respect.  Rainbow Rowell respects her characters for just being who they are.

There are a few things I could nitpick about this book. I didn't really like the absolute redemption of Wren.  I was left wanting for more about their mother and there were some things that didn't get wrapped up well in the book.  It was more like it just ended, rather than having a solid finale to it.  But on the other hand, it works.  This book isn't about Wren, or their mother, or anyone else. It's about Cath, and one thing I've noticed about Rainbow Rowell is that she doesn't stress about the side stories.  She tells THIS story, the one that's happening RIGHT NOW, and she tells it like she lived through it.  And when you live something sometimes it doesn't always wrap up neatly in a bow, sitting on your doorstep waiting to be opened. It just happens, and it moves on, and more stuff happens, and you are the sum of your experiences.

2014: A To-Do List

I have a large list of items to create in 2014, some of which are pretty ambitious.  For accountability, and maybe an effort to actually post on this blog again, I will list them all here.

1.  Knight Hoodie .  I have the hoodies, I'm drafting the pattern (which is taking longer than planned) and next week I will purchase fleece to make the armor.  Here is the point that I am at right now:

Bonus:  brand new rotary cutter and board from my mother for xmas!

2.  Quilt for Lilith from her last birthday.  Hope to be done in time for THIS birthday.
3.  Rainbow Dash Gala dress for Lilith for her birthday, and fully functional to be used as a Halloween costume.  That's right, this year the Kerfeet will be decking themselves out in MLP.

The best version I've found of it online.  I will be taking inspiration from this design pretty heavily.  I will have to make it appropriate for a preteen girl:  less skin showing. 

Original Design

4.  A Rarity Gala dress for Ivy.  Again to double as birthday and Halloween costume.  I haven't found many good designs of this online, so I think I'm going to have to improvise.

This one is okay, just kind of weird.  I think the pink and yellow layers need to be in tulle.  

Original design.  Time to buy stock in sew-on gems.....

5.  Rainbow Dash sporty version for Mark.  Originally I was just going to buy a tracksuit and add a cutie mark and wings, but it is RIDICULOUSLY difficult to find an unadorned tracksuit, let alone one in the right colour.  I have a feeling I'll be sewing it from scratch.   Rainbow armwarmers and socks, wings, and rainbow wig.

6.  Queen Chrysalis for myself.  Okay I'm really kind of excited about this one this year, and it's not just because I have to order myself a new corset for it :).  Black corset, black tights and armwarmers with holes cut in them, a bright green/blue wig and belt, and cellophane wings.  The husband is going to help me make a crown and horn as well.  and heaven help me, I might try to wear heels with it.

HOW MUCH FUN IS THIS??

7. Med Faire garb for the minions.  It's time for some new pieces, and I'm sure the boys are tired of wearing just shirts with regular clothes.  I think Logan was wanting some pirate gear.  I also could do with a new dress.

8.  It's Gryphon's year for a birthday quilt, so I have to get working on the design for his too.  Somehow it will have to be something with weapons or LOTR.

9.  All the rest of the Halloween costumes.  I hope to make Seraphyna Apple Jack and Lachlan Spike, and Logan, Gryphon, and Rowan will probably be something else.  Ninja turtles is the current idea.

10.  I'd really like to do Winter Solstice pajamas this year.  I know a lot of people do xmas eve pjs, but our xmas eve is taken due to the really long drive to Woodward, so that would be the appropriate time to do that.

11. Easter dresses/outfits, and I'd really like to do some spectacular xmas dresses/outfits and pictures this year.  I kind of threw this year's together and I know I can do better, and I SHOULD do better.  Something Victorian maybe, with fancy dresses and matching vests.  Like out of an old Hallmark card.

12.  Various skirts, dresses, pajamas, and shorts outfits.  I want to step it up this year and make more things for the kids instead of buying them.

Intermission

Why it takes so long to get anything cut out:

Lachlan throws himself in my lap.
Seraphyna tries to put a puppy to sleep in the fabric. 
Lachlan tickling any spot of bare skin nonstop.
Wrinkled fabric.
Lachlan climbs on my back.
Seraphyna needs a diaper.
"Hey Momma I memorized my lines! Wanna hear? Oh wait I forgot, just a minute" x5
"TICKLE TICKLE TICKLE"
Seraphyna wails from the other room.
Lachlan throws a Thomas book in my lap.
Organize the older kids on making lunch: bark directions while pinning and folding.
Text from Mark.
"TICKLE TICKLE TICKLE TICKLE TICKLE TICKLE"
Drop a pin from my mouth into my cleavage while telling Lachlan to STOP PLEASE
Unusual cutting diagram
"FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE ONE PIECE LEFT TO CUT WILL YOU JUST STOP"
Seraphyna wails from the other room.
"TICKLE TICKLE TICKLE"


This is why when everyone finally goes to bed for the night, I stay up just a little bit longer, to revel in the QUIET.

Day Six: Sung to the Tune of "Carry On My Wayward Son"

First a Disclaimer:  These Days of Thankfulness are in no particular order, simply how they occur to me as I'm writing them at the time.  I don't want anyone to think I am more grateful to anything as inane as a television show than my husband, who I have not featured yet (but will!).

That being said, I have recently been granted access to a Netflix account (THANK YOU MY SISTER) and out of all the choices laid out before me like a buffet, I broke my netflix cherry on Supernatural.   I'm not sure why:  I have several things on my list that I'm interested in, like Doctor Who, or Sherlock Holmes, or even Firefly (here's my geek card, I'll have to hand it in now).  I don't even LIKE scary things anymore.  It triggers my anxiety like crazy and I stay up all night staring at my open doorway, expecting a silhouette to darken it and for me to lose my mind in terror.  But I have always been interested in science fiction, fantasy, and the supernatural.  Things that can't quite be explained, or makes you think about the world as a different, more fascinating place.  I remember having a ritual in high school of watching certain shows with my mom and sister, and the two I remember most are Star Trek: Voyager, and The X-Files. So maybe it was a bit of nostalgia breaking through when I started watching Supernatural.  And surprise surprise, I really liked it.

When I sit down and think about, I think the thing I like the most about the show is the incredible acting and the realism brought to the show by Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles. You really, truly, believe these two are brothers.  There's nothing forced in there at all:  they annoy each other, they pick on each other, but they would hand over their lives for the other without thought.  You see although the show is named Supernatural and there is a laundry list of various strange creatures and urban legends, and later religious mythology and epic battles, the show is, plain and simple, about the relationship between these two brothers.  There's the younger, sometimes naive, brooding brother of Sam, who tries to get away from the Hunter lifestyle and maintain a "normal" life, and there's the never-serious, childhood-stolen-from-him, older brother Dean, who drags him back to help find their father.  The way these two interact is hilarious, poignant, and more than that, believable.  These two characters were made for these actors.

There are many other things I love about this show.  I am never disappointed by the music choices.  I like how they manage to mostly tie off loose threads at the end of a season (mostly, there's only so much you can do).  It is absolutely hysterical in some place and rips your heart out in others. There are times when you're crying from laughing so hard and in the next moment, you're crying again because it's so emotional.   There are some kick-ass female leads and they are not only the victims to monsters.  There are romantic relationships, but they are always brief, and everyone knows they are doomed from the start.  It never takes the focus away from the two brothers, the hunters, road-tripping through Hell and back, to save lives and find their own redemption.

I am right now nearing the end of Season 4, so I have quite a bit of catching up to do.  But I know it's going to be a fun ride, no matter how long it takes.

Days Four and Five: Community

Thankful Day Four:  Online Community

There are those among us, particularly of the older variety (I may or may not be in this category) that do not believe that a community that only exists online can provide a fulfilling relationship.  I tend to disagree.

It's true that the Internet is fraught with peril.  You are more likely to encounter a troll (someone who insults others purely to get a rise out of them) than a sympathetic ear. Between trolls, hackers, and people with their filters removed by anonymity, there hardly seems a point.  But the one advantage the Internet has is that it brings people together from all over the world.  Interested in a certain anime?  There's a forum for that.  Passionate about birth? There's a facebook group for that.  And every now and then, you find a group made of exceptional men and women that you connect with and lifts you up better than anyone IRL, because you only have to travel as far as your computer or iPhone to find them.  I in particular am grateful for the community of my two online mothers groups, one that has been together for almost 12 years, and one that has been together for almost 11 years;  and my splinter freebirthing group that broke off from a larger, dysfunctional one.  It is rare that you find such a safe haven of like-minded individuals that will willingly reach out across the ether and extend a hand to sister that is in need of advice, of comfort, or to share a joy.  To someone who has social anxiety and sometimes can't stand to be physically around other people, this is a unique blessing:  friendship without pressures.

Thankful Day Five:  IRL Community

It's been a long time since I had close friends that I could visit regularly in a physical form.  I don't reach out to people often, but I have had really good luck lately opening up to people and finding kinship with them.  For day five, I am grateful for my community that exists here around me, and my good friends.  

November Writing Madness AKA Do I Still Have This Blog???

Hello and welcome to the month of November Dear Readers! (all two of you.  don't get rowdy).  Although I'm already two days behind, I am still determined to get to my 30K word count goal that I usually set for this month.  I have lots and lots of Scepter chapters to go, and I'm starting a new saga of Maerciless and Shirelle.  It's going rather well, although it's no where near to the point of posting yet.  I have managed to keep the different tones of the pieces up instead of blending them together into a homogenized style, so I'm happy about that.  Maybe this time next year I will be able to focus on something that's not WoW related??  Time will tell.

I will be keeping a word count update on my blog, and going for my November Thankfulness as often as I remember (once a week?  once a day? who knows!).  I took the entire month of October off from writing, and although it was needed to be able to get my Halloween Crafting on, I'm a little out of practice from churning out as much writing as I would like to each week. I will still have Holiday Crafting to work on this month as well, as I'd like to get my sewn and crocheted gifts done before the first of December, I have found I am most happiest when I constantly have a lot of projects going on.  It keeps me busy and useful, and creating makes me happy.  Which makes me create more.

Now for my days of November Thankfulness.  Although I will be doing the usual and listing off family and basic ordinary blessings, I am going to try and dig deep to find subjects that really make you think, things that you might not always find happy.  It's a challenge really:  to find happy in the least likely of places.

Day One:   I am grateful for the love of reading.  My eldest daughter is sitting on the couch right now re-reading a book that I bought with my own money as a teenager, that somehow made it back to this house.  My kids have different reading speeds and levels, but all of them will happily sit down with a book and escape reality for a brief time. I have always learned my most important lessons from books, and I am glad to have passed that down to the minions.

Day Two:  I am grateful for Cosplay.  I have always been really into costuming, ever since I was little.  I liked to pick obscure characters and re-create them to the best of my ability constantly.  I dressed up every year for Halloween and was the spearhead for my group of friends to follow me around and trick or treat, up until we turned 18.  I never really understood my fanaticism for costuming, until a couple years ago I fell into the world of Cosplay on the internet.  I no longer feel ashamed of my intense love of creating costumes and characters, and instead go for it with all the enthusiasm that I've always wanted to.  Everyone has their little obsessions:  some are about sports teams, some about movies, or videogames:  one of mine is costuming and there is nothing wrong with that.  I have found community in costuming and feel that I am an encouragement to others who want to costume and craft as well.  The husband has entered into this world as well, through the making of props and his constant support.  It's a world I am happy to be a part of.

Day Three:  I am grateful for insomnia and the madness it creates to craft, write, and exercise my brain.  I am grateful for the extra time it makes for me to be myself and not solely exist as a wife, mother, and homeschooler.  Now if I could just not crash every few days, it would be a lot more convenient.

Bonus Picture:  A Lachlan in a Box

Inspiration

I started listening to this lovely song by Pink, that someone did a music video to (I am not sure of the original person).  I was admiring how their relationship was so innocent and unassuming and quickly blossomed into something more.  I was considering using this as an inspiration video to write about Elf and Zara when the end of the video BROKE MY HEART IN HALF.  I mean really.  If you stop it at 2:00 and forget the rest, okay, but otherwise, NOPE.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=glVVfddl9Uo