Satisfying my obsessive compulsions through the pursuit of creativity and personal betterment

Friday, May 25, 2012


My grandmother (who we hardly ever see) works as a janitor in a high school.   Once or twice a year, she goes through all the lost and found there and sends a gigantic bag of mislaid clothes and hoodies via my mother to me.  I have never figured whether this is an act of charity, that she doesn't think we can afford to clothe our kids, or simply something to remind us that she does exist, and occasionally thinks of us.  Either way, not one to shirk a bag of clothing, we sort through and keep what we can possibly use and Goodwill the rest. Most of it is hoodies in all different shapes, sizes, and conditions.  I will NEVER have to buy another hoodie.  Probably 3/4 of the remainder is teenage girls' clothes.  I will not waste a moment wondering what causes so many girls to lose their clothes in that school....anyway, a lot of them are plainly indecent and get tossed away.  Some are packed away for Lilith to have when she is older (nice jeans, decent t-shirts or sweaters).  Some I give to her to wear to sleep in or over tank tops.  There have been several cute button down shirts though lately that the girls have been interested in but are beyond huge.  I've been wanting to cut down and see if I can re-size a shirt correctly so I took one and set to experimenting.  Ever since I cut down a green thermal Goodwill shirt for Gryphon for a Halloween costume I've been wanting to try that for other things.  Kids clothes are few and far between at Goodwill, but an adult shirt that could be re-sized....those are a dime a dozen.  I can resize skirts, but shirts are a little more difficult.  The shirt I started with was an adult large. 

I wished I had taken a before picture, but it has not changed too much in these pictures.  I kept the length, but slimmed down the shirt by ripping the seams up the side and taking the sleeve off.  I cut about 2 inches off each side of the shirt, and reshaped the armhole to be much smaller.  Then I stitched up the sides, gathered the sleeve at the top (I did not cut it down, just gathered it to make it fit) and sewed it back on.  Then we dug an old elastic butterfly belt of mine out of the costume box and VOILA new shirt-dress!   I don't think I'm done with the sleeves---they still stick out a bit.  I might either trim them back to be cap sleeves, or I might gather them with elastic.

Miss Lilith is happy with it, and Ivy is jealous.  So I guess more remakings of old shirts will be in the works :).

Saturday, May 19, 2012

This is me today

Sew sew sew hold the baby sew sew nurse the baby sew sew clean the house (just kidding, make the kids clean the house)  sew. 

Seraphyna and her dragon help me sew
And wrap the birthday presents.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Understanding Anxiety

I am usually not in the business of reblogging things or stealing other people's posts, but I thought this was so poignant, so well-written, and so ACCURATE that I had to share.

things we are trying to do all the time:
  1. be safe
things we can’t help but do all the time:
  1. second-guess ourselves
  2. behave impulsively and reactively
  3. take everything personally
  4. worry
  5. worry
  6. worry
  7. have difficulty accepting compliments
  8. have difficulty reciprocating friendly gestures
  9. have difficulty finding the courage to respond
  10. have difficulty not being suspicious of others’ intentions
  11. make a huge deal out of the smallest thing
things you should keep in mind:
  1. we’re scared of everything
  2. pretty much all of the time
  3. it’s an actual disorder
  4. it manifests as impulsive behavior
  5. you can’t fix us with words
  6. telling us “worrying is silly” won’t make us stop worrying
  7. it’ll only make us feel silly
  8. and then we’ll worry even more
  9. “oh god, am i worrying too much? what if they call me silly again?”
  10. like that
  11. also, we wear a lot of armor
  12. cold, heavy, affection-proof armor with spikes
  13. we constructed this armor as children
  14. we’re fairly certain you will never be able to pry it apart
  15. but there is a nice person under there, we promise
things you can do for a friend with an anxiety disorder:
  1. stick around
  2. ask them if they’re comfortable in a place or situation
  3. be willing to change the place or situation if not
  4. activities that help them take their mind off of things are good!
  5. talk to them even when they might not talk back
  6. (they’re probably too afraid to say the wrong thing)
  7. try not to take their reactions (or lack thereof) personally
  8. (the way they expresses themself is distorted and bent because of their constant fear)
  9. (and they knows this)
  10. give them time to respond to you
  11. they will obsess over how they are being interpreted
  12. they will anticipate being judged
  13. it took me four hours just to type this much
  14. even though i sound casual
  15. that’s because i have an anxiety disorder
things you shouldn’t do:
  1. tell us not to worry
  2. tell us we’ll be fine
  3. mistake praise for comfort
  4. ask us if we are “getting help”
  5. force us to be social
  6. force us to do things that trigger us
  7. “face your fears” doesn’t always work
  8. because—remember—scared of everything
  9. in fact, it would be more accurate to say we are scared of the fear itself
emergency action procedure for panic attacks:
  1. be calm
  2. be patient
  3. don’t be condescending
  4. remind us that we’re not “crazy”
  5. sit with us
  6. ask us to tighten and relax our muscles one by one
  7. remind us that we are breathing
  8. engage us in a discussion (if we can talk, then we can breathe)
  9. if we are having trouble breathing, try getting us to exhale slowly
  10. or breathe through our nose
  11. or have us put our hands on our stomach to feel each breath
  12. ask us what needs to change in our environment in order for us to feel safe
  13. help us change it
  14. usually, just knowing that we have someone on our side willing to fight our scary monsters with us is enough to calm us down
if you have an anxiety disorder:
  1. it’s okay.
  2. even if you worry that it’s not okay.
  3. it’s still okay. it’s okay to be scared. it’s okay to be scared of being scared.
  4. you are not crazy. you are not a freak.
  5. i know there’s a person under all that armor.
  6. and i know you feel isolated because of it.
  7. i won’t make you take it off.
  8. but know that you are not alone.

Remember, people with anxiety need love too.  Sometimes more love.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Writing Quandaries

As I'm flailing around madly for some kind of dialogue between these two in their story, this is a conversation I imagine happening between Zara and Elf:

Elf:  Hey, I just got this metal, it's rare and it's metal, and it's in this metal holding bag!
Zara:  Wow.......that's, neat..... *trails off and glances away*

Zara:  Hey, I just found this moldy piece of paper with two words and one symbol on it, and I think if I stand on my head it might be a hidden clue to the origin of Ahn'Qiraj!
Elf: Um, that's fascinating......*whistles and watches the sky*

.......moments pass.......

Zara:  Hey, wanna go help me kill stuff?
Elf:  Sure!

*they ride off into the sunset*


"That's a big dragon."  "Ayup."